Christmas :)

Hope everyone had a good one. To be honest it didn't really feel like christmas today but it was great, props to my family for being awesome, I love them all heaps. The presents weren't bad either lol. Guitar Hero:), Mamma Mia the movie and soundtrackXD, clothes:), Happy Tree Friends:) and tickets to The Veronicas concertXD.

I wrote this poem yesterday. It's basically my life right now. Not knowing what I want out of life or where I want to go. Something I think we all experiance at some point. Hope you like it.

Going blind through the rain
killing time everyday
seeking for the truth I find
nothing is in my mind.

Everything that was once there
is flying around in the air
tell me how this is fair.

It is gone until I find
what I want for this life
for this life I cannot find
what I want at this time
it all hurts so much
and all I do is smile and blush.

I want to go but I can't leave
I want to stay but I'll bleed
let me go, let me stay
please don't go away.

Please keep me strong
at the times when I am wrong
days like this I want to fall
until I remember I have you all

After the Burn

Last month I moved back from Queensland to my mums. Everything has changed, I have changed. I don't know anything anymore, I am so confused. All I know is that it is the best time of my life. It has never been like this, I have never been this happy.

It wasn't like that at the begining. I thought I had done the stupidest thing in the world by moving back. My ocd became worse and I missed everyone so much. I found out I couldn't get into my old school and had no idea what I would do without my friends with me. This was the thing that brang my tears. Starting a new school again.

It took me awhile to realise that I would be okay. I always ended up being okay. I was over fighting. For the last year it has felt like I have been doing nothing but fighting. Fighting to be happy, fighting to not cry, fighting to help people I knew I couldn't. It's always ok, always.

You have to listen to it

My Favourite song in the whole world at the moment, it has been on repeat on my ipod for who knows how long and it still makes me cry.

"In Another Life"


I have known you my whole life
When you were ten, you said you'd make me your wife
Eight years later you won me over
Just as I took the world on my shoulders


I got used to living without you
Endless phone calls and dreaming about you
Always said that you were my man to be
But I guess I was in love with your memory


You know I love you, I really do
But I can't fight anymore for you
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again
Sometime, in another life
In another life

I know I said that I would keep my word
I wished that I could save you from the hurt
But things will never go back to how we were
I'm sorry I can't be your world


You know I love you, I really do
But I can't fight anymore for you
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again
Sometime, in another life
In another life (another life)


The way you're holding on to me
Makes me feel like I can't breathe
Just let me go, just let me go
It just won't feel right inside
God knows I've tried

You know I love you, you know I do
But I can't fight anymore for you
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again
Sometime, in another life


In another life, in another life

In another life ...



And it is of course be these lovely ladies

cityyyy

City city city. It's all that people are talking about. I forgot thats that all Melbourne kids do on their holidays. I miss the city so much. It's like an addiction. I'm a city girl I can't help it. I really need a visit there soon because I'm going to lose the whole city vibe. Don't worry I have no idea what I'm writing. But long story short I miss the city and want to have many visits when i move back down with my girlies.

Going Back

Holidays are almost over. Two weeks and I don't think I have achieved anything. All I can think about is Melbourne. About all the people I miss. I better here back from my old school soon to see if I get back in because it is driving me crazy. I want to be with my friends next year more than anything.

I can't say I haven't learnt anything over this year though. I have learnt the reasons I left where much different to what I thought. That I miss hugs. That the people I thought would understand things don't. That I have to learn to deal with things becuase if I am crying now when I get to Melbourne I am going to be stuffed. That having ocd sucks and that I can trust people.

I miss my best friend more than anything. I have matured but I still need to deal with things and fix them. Or in some cases let them go and learn to live with them. I can actually trust peple now. I can tell people whats wrong. I have acquired a second mum. If I did not have her I could have seen myself doing something stupid. I am going to miss her so much.

I can't wait to see the people, go to the city, and hopefully be back in green!